5 years ago, if you asked me where I see myself professionally, I wouldn’t have had a solid answer for you. During that time, I was just moving into my own home after my divorce, my dad was recovering from a liver transplant. In the middle of ”re-building” myself, I wasn’t concerned about my future. Focused completely in the here and now I had no plans, but I knew that I wanted more of my life.
I have always been a dreamer. Dreaming of places I wanted to be and the person I felt I was deep down inside. I‘ve not been much of a do-er. My day dreams included my being a full time fine artist. Waking up and heading to my Studio with a mug of coffee and working through the day. Galleries picking me up and having solo shows. Meeting other artists and befriending them, being part of a group of like minded people that understand the trials and triumphs of being an artist. My day dreams included me doing art for products. My designs on plates, sheets, notebooks, what-have-you. I day dreamed of being a strong self confident woman the way many friends and family saw me as, but I couldn’t.
Being afraid to do things because of what those around me might say. Constant fear or rejection and fear of the unknown has held me back for as long as I can recall. The biggest fear I had placed on myself was failing. I didn’t want to push myself only to fail. I told myself lies and gave myself excuses to not achieve all of my dreams. I allowed myself the “practical dreams” but pushed no further. As an Artist, I knew the market is hard to be in and make money. I decided to be a Graphic Designer. I didn’t settle as this fulfilling my dream completely but knew that it would fulfill the need to create daily. So I went back to school and got my Associates degree in Graphic Design. I would draw and paint and create art, but it didn’t go further beyond family members. I always wanted more.
In the last year I’ve grown to find my voice as an artist.
I knew I had skills. I knew I had the ability. I knew my artistic style. I just held myself back. From 2019 to 2020 I felt a shift, the ground beneath me moved. I formulated a plan and pushed forward to live my dreams as an artist. Making my art and providing it to the world. I committed to myself to create my own part time business as a Freelance Licensed Surface Pattern Designer and recently received my business license. I AM A BUSINESS OWNER! I create art everyday, I have print on demand (POD) stores on three websites and focused on pattern collections for my portfolio to be available for licensing. I have a coffee mug at home that has my art on it! Looking at it fills me with so much pride and encourages me to keep pushing forward.
Not in a million years would I have thought I would be here. But here I am, dreaming and doing. Pushing myself onward to take those daydreams and make them reality.
-Shanna
Shanna Lynne Design 